you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
