I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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