What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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