Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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