you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
