Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
