guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
