All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
