is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
