Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think my mom watched the whole time
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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