i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
