last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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