R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
