you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
