How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
its liver damage thursday
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