I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
