You work out of a Hotel?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
