Don't you send me to vm
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
