ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
