I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Even my vagina gasped.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
this is an emotional support booty call
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
