Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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