He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
where am i from again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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