Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
