There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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