this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
