He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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