do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
