Just mADE A PArabola og urine
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
