I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
