i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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