Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Randomize
