Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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