He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
