i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
