so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
