Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
