I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
