so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
