bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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