no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if only i could text you this smell
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
