You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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