capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
