Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize