I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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