I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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