If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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