wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
