billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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