Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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