I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
