i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it hurts more in the daytime
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
